Bonus: So, what have we learned? Year-End reflections and thank you’s!

Seeing that it’s the end of the year and it seems that everybody’s publishing lists I thought I’d share my list of top lessons learned from our guests in 2020 on the #1 topic that we’ve discussed this year; Money Mindset.

6 takeaways from this year’s episodes on our number 1 topic - Money Mindset

Our money habits are shaped by our past and our values

When looking to get on the same page with your partner about money:
- It’s important to understand how their current relationship with money may be influenced by negative experiences and habits modeled for them earlier in their lives.

Cultivate empathy for your partner. Realize that they could be dealing with guilt, shame, embarrassment related to their money past

Think collaboration, not compromise. Aim for the “sweet spot”, something that piques each person’s interest and feels good while honoring shared values.

Seek common values when discussing money with your partner. As long as values are aligned, differing specific methods of pursuing those values can be worked through.

It’s important to understand our own money past and habits as well as our partner’s

Our money habits are shaped by behaviors we unconsciously pick up growing up; we tend to either emulate or do the opposite

Understand your own Money Past. Ask your questions like:
- What were you taught about money?
- How did your parents behave with money?

Mindset and budgeting; be flexible, communicate, keep it simple

Budgets are personal and unique to every situation; there are no “one size fits all” answers or simple formulas to determine the right approach. The best budget is the one that each partner buys in to.
Unity of purpose between a couple is more important than having the “perfect” financial plan
Allocating dedicated money in your budget for each partner (no questions asked) can help to reduce the chances of secret spending by one partner.

Talk to your partner before starting a budget. The mechanics can primarily fall to one partner, but decisions need to be 50/50.

Each partner should have a role in the budgeting process based on their strengths

Keep your budget simple. Complicated budgets can discourage participation

Budgeting at the level the granularity needed to make adjustments when things don’t go according to plan

Be sensitive to the fact that some partners are resistant to discuss money because they don’t want to feel controlled, others are intimidated by the subject and feel they don’t understand it

Budgets can be too restrictive. Simple pleasures are often habits, for lasting change back away from them gradually like you would when trying to change any habit.

Budget needs to be realistic for your lifestyle, your needs, and sustainable.

Beware of Financial Enabling - can hurt both the giver and receiver of money
Underspending is as much of a problematic financial behavior as overspending
Know your financial “Why”

If your partner is being secret about their financial behavior, Look to understand the “why behind the what”

- When seeking to engage your partner in a discussion about your finances, start with your why
- - Make sure you and your partner are working towards the same goals
  - Discuss what you would like to do with your time if money was not an issue
  - Understand one another’s motivation, then come up with a plan
Accept responsibility